Praise Elade
by Plush Panda
Summary: Richard's cooking lead to some interesting situations involving a kitten, chipmunks, but most of all Kahlan/Cara - the good, slashy kind.


Cara watched the group in front of her trek on happily through the forest. Or, well, at least some of them were happy. One in particular seemed like she couldn't get away soon enough. Cara's eyes wandered to Kahlan purposefully at the thought, taking in lustrous dark hair and the lean form visible underneath battle gear. She could still hear the quiet gasps and feel the desperate grip on her shoulders. She knew the memory pleased her more than it should, but she felt no shame in relishing it, especially with the way Kahlan reacted visibly to her whenever they locked eyes. When her eyes trailed up again, the woman was looking at her with a disapproving expression.

Cara smiled smugly in return, raising a provocative eyebrow, pleased that she could get under Kahlan's skin so easily. Kahlan averted her eyes from her and increased her pace, unsettled frown in place and pale skin tingeing with pink. Cara took another moment before she turned to observe her surroundings, knowing she'd get her chance again sooner or later if the Confessor's jittery behavior was any indication. Whether it was a passionate denial or something else she shouldn't be hoping for was yet to be seen, but whatever the case, it was bound to be beyond amusing.

Maybe Richard's cooking wasn't that bad after all.

* * *

"I think there might still be some hope for you yet," Zedd complimented indirectly, helping himself to a third bowl of stew. "You've finally managed to get rid of the subtle aroma of dead animal."

"Gee, thanks," Richard muttered sarcastically, leaning back on his hands after he had finished his meal. "Do hurt my feelings, why don't you?"

Cara watched the pair over the crackling fire, quickly tuning them out once they went into detail about the existence of Richard's feelings. She didn't particularly agree with Zedd's compliment, but wasn't disagreeing either. Usually when Richard took it upon himself to prove himself with cooking, meat got burned or people got food poisoning. If they were lucky, not in that combination. Why they even let him near the pot was beyond her. It probably had something to do with 'considerateness.'

She turned her attention to the sound of a quiet chuckle. Kahlan was smiling at the pair, who had started exchanging petty jabs, by the sound of it. Cara could feel her brow dipping slightly at the display of carefree emotions. Here they were acting as if they had gone on a camping trip, smiling and teasing each other over their faults. She had to wonder if they ever realized that they were doing something important, like, say, saving the world.

Though that wasn't any scornful emotion talking because whenever she made a jab at Richard's inability to do anything, nobody laughed.

"What?" Zedd exclaimed all of the sudden, earning back Cara's attention. She looked on impassively, half hoping the wizard would start a fight, but quickly realizing how ridiculous the notion was. Zedd looked at Richard in utter disbelief.

"I said I used the carrots you left out for me," he repeated, brown eyes steadfast even though there was a hint of wonder in his voice.

"Those weren't carrots, you fool!" Zedd scolded, pushing away his bowl and standing up in an angry swoop. "Those were St. Elade's roots! Do you realize how much I ate of this?" He passed a hand over his mouth in concern, beginning to pace the site.

"What?" Richard's eyes flitted over to Cara, then to Kahlan, in search of an explanation. "What are St. Elade's roots?" Kahlan simply responded with a questioning look of her own while Cara glanced down at the content of her bowl, and put it away. She knew she should have gone out hunting instead of trusting Richard's cooking.

"Okay," Zedd said, finally coming to a halt. "I suggest we go to sleep before the hallucinations kick in."

"Hallucinations?" Richard echoed, eyes widening slightly.

Cara stared at Zedd for a moment, waiting for the moment he explained it was all a badly timed joke.

"Or we could tie ourselves to each other," the wizard mused out loud, thoughtful eyes trained on nothing in particular.

"How powerful are these roots?" Kahlan asked worriedly, putting away her own bowl.

"Oh, my dear," Zedd laughed. "The mind is a very complicated thing. You could ingest the barest of stimulants and still think up dragons five times your size."

Cara surprised herself by not rolling her eyes at the little story. Instead she stood up from her place at the campfire and started walking in the direction of a little pond she had seen not too far away. If she was going to hallucinate about 20 foot dragons, she'd do it alone where no one could see it happening.

"It's dangerous to be alone at a time like this!" Zedd called after her, even as her back retreated into the woods. "Where are you going?"

"Away," she said dryly, not bothering to raise her voice or slow down her pace.

* * *

Cara pursed her lips as she stared at the still, dark water of the large pond, trying to focus on the reflection of the moon in the liquid surface. She sat on a tree trunk, unmoving, her cheek perched on a closed fist as a single white kitten circled her legs continuously, purring obnoxiously loud. _It_ had appeared out of nowhere and made a beeline for her leather boots. At first she thought the flash of white had been a wisp – something to remind her of the event she both wanted to remember and forget at the same time. Now, as big, blue eyes stared up at her lovingly, she wished it had been a wisp.

"Retched animal," she murmured, giving it a gentle shove with her foot. The ball of fur simply stumbled back a bit before continuing to defile her ankles. Every few turns of unadulterated harassment, the kitten shot her a pleading look. Its gaze was defiant yet compassionate, reminding her of yet another pair of blue eyes.

"Who are you talking to?"

Cara almost jumped at the voice, not having heard Kahlan approaching. Someone sneaking up on her in itself was unheard of, so it could only mean that the woman who was looking down at her was nothing other than a hallucination. She gave Kahlan a brief once over, noting how she was dressed in exactly the same gear she had been wearing all day, right up until the smudge of dirt on her right sleeve that had been bothering Cara for the entire afternoon. The pale moonlight did nothing to make her seem less of an appearance.

She didn't reply, resuming her staring match with the moon's reflection. If she didn't encourage the hallucinations, they would go away eventually.

The dark haired woman sat down next to her, remaining equally silent.

They'd go.

Eventually.

Whatever she had expected Kahlan to do during the following silence, she hadn't expected her to punch her in the shoulder. It packed enough force to sting – it even made her budge somewhat – but Cara wasn't entirely amused by the woman sneaking up on her just to sell her one. She glared at the Mother Confessor. The brunette returned the look, raising her eyebrows expectantly. Cara shifted somewhat, then returned the favor with a hit of her own.

"Ow," Kahlan complained, rubbing her upper arm. "If you had listened to Zedd's explanation instead of storming off dramatically, you would have known that hallucinations can't hurt you." She frowned disapprovingly, lowering her hand from her arm. "Not unless you believe they could hurt you," she added in a less scolding voice.

Cara shot her an unimpressed look.

"Okay," she relented after a while, turning her eyes to the pond. "We could both potentially hurt each other."

The blonde focused her attention back on the water, rippling in the wind. The kitten was still smoothing out its fur against her boots, and the attention was slowly driving her crazy. What was the point of rubbing up against things anyway? It wasn't like people went around rubbing up against each other—wait, no, they did. Though not in the same way. Be that as it may, the action was still frivolous and annoying.

"Oh my, he's so cute," Kahlan cooed, reaching for the kitten. Cara couldn't say she didn't see that coming. Imaginary Kahlan was bound to love the little critter to death. The way she pressed a kiss to its forehead was a little too much for her taste, but she supposed it was better that the white ball of fur was distracted by the woman rather than her boots.

Cara's lips twitched up in a smile at the thought that hit her. If Kahlan could see _and_ touch the kitten, which was obviously a hallucination, that meant the woman herself was definitely a figment of her imagination as well. This was the perfect moment to relieve some stress which had built up during days upon days of traveling with no interesting battles to be fought. She turned to the Confessor slowly, her smirk betraying less than honorable intentions. Whether it was via a sparring session or something else less painful was up to her imagination now.

"What?" Kahlan asked, feeling the leering gaze a mile away. She put down the kitten. "I know you don't like animals that don't taste good, but—"

"Shut up," Cara commanded, then, without bothering to test the water, straddled the dark haired woman in one smooth, borderline practiced, movement. Kahlan looked up at her with wide, uncomprehending eyes – just the way Cara had expected it. The blonde allowed her prey to wallow in confusion as she placed her hands on the Confessor's cheeks, enjoying the power she had over the other woman a little while longer.

When it looked like the dark brunette finally started to grasp the situation, Cara leaned in and captured soft lips with her own. This time, she didn't allow the taller woman to adjust to the situation, urgently deepening the kiss. Even though Kahlan was shocked into obedience and barely reacting, it was still warm and pliant – much better than she had initially expected.

She made a mental note to ask Zedd where she could find this St. Elade's root later on.

But the next thing she knew, two hands had firmly pushed against her shoulders and she was lying on the ground. Entirely unhindered by the situation, Cara helped herself onto her elbows and subconsciously licked her lips. The rejection had taken longer than she had expected. But judging by the smoldering look a flustered Kahlan was unknowingly giving her, she knew that the kiss hadn't been entirely against her principles either. "What the hell was that?" Kahlan demanded angrily, a hint of breathlessness in her voice.

Just the way she liked it.

Cara's eyes sparkled with mischief even as she allowed her smirk to die down into a small smile. "I had to test if you were a hallucination somehow," she offered simply, tilting her head. Before the other woman could get out a rational argument, the blonde reached out her hand. "Help me up."

Kahlan watched her suspiciously. Cara never allowed anyone to help her unless she was absolutely incapacitated. She was too proud for that. Something was definitely going on.

Cara was starting to look rather silly with her hand in the air, however, so she decided on action despite distrusting the entire situation. Maybe the Mord'Sith had warmed up to them enough to start asking for help, however unlikely that was. Kahlan got up hesitantly, walked over slowly, but grabbed the blonde's hand resolutely. The victorious grin that immediately spread across Cara's face informed her that it had been the wrong move.

Cara pulled her down forcibly, allowing the Confessor to land on her. Kahlan weighed more than she had expected the hallucination to weigh, but she took the solid weight and rolled them over so she was lying on top. She made sure her thigh was pressed tightly between those of the brunette, earning her a silent gasp. Her eyes feasted on the vision of Kahlan trying desperately to make sense of the situation. It warmed her insides in anticipation to have the woman beneath her, luscious dark hair in perfect disarray, breathing slightly erratic and eyes watching cautiously. A vulnerable Confessor was truly a sight to behold.

She leaned in, fully planning to turn that warmth into a scorching fire, but was held back by Kahlan's hands on her shoulders. "What?" Cara questioned, the word almost coming out as a growl. She placed her hands next to the woman's head on the ground, allowing herself to hover over her prey more fully. "Why do you resist me so?" she hissed, getting tired of her imagination portraying Kahlan so opposed to the idea of them getting together.

Clear blue eyes looked up at her, visibly contemplating something in one of their trademark helpless looks. The hands on her shoulders trailed a feather light path across her collarbone, up her bare neck, and eventually came to rest on her cheeks, palms placed against sun kissed skin as thumbs rubbed at the smooth surface absentmindedly.

Cara watched Kahlan through narrowed, skeptical eyes. Her skin seemed to glow in the dim moonlight and her eyes seemed almost luminescent, making her wonder exactly what she felt for the Confessor if her mind offered her this picture of perfection. Something inside her chest tightened once Kahlan's eyes focused on her lips.

Cara almost backed away when Kahlan lifted her head off the ground to close the distance between them, the spell suddenly broken. She managed to stay in place, however, the unfamiliar softness of the following kiss causing the tightness in her chest to double. Kahlan inched backwards slowly, her lips moving gently against those of the Mord'Sith. Cara yielded in a rare show of acquiescence, following the woman as she lowered herself onto the ground again. She doubted that she would've allowed the Confessor to handle her, to let her in like that if it had been the real Kahlan, but the thought was only a distant echo in the back of her mind as she made herself more comfortable by leaning on her forearms. All that mattered was that Kahlan, real or not, was offering her a reprieve from the daily pressures.

The tender touches of their lips soon turned more urgent. The air around them became thick with potential as it turned openmouthed and tongues became involved, both eager to intensify the more than reassuring contact. All the solid pressures in the right places almost made Cara forget it was all her imagination. The tightness in her chest finally disappeared, dissolving to instead spread a familiar heat all the way to her fingertips.

Cara broke the kiss to pull off a glove with her teeth, momentarily leaving Kahlan to regain her breath. The pause didn't last for long, however, for she was pulled back in again by the collar as soon as the item was discarded. Lips met forcibly, and Cara wasted no time in finding the tender skin of the other woman's thigh underneath the impractical robes the Confessor was wearing. Kahlan breathed in noticeably at the contact, clawing at the leather of Cara's suit in a desperate gesture. The blonde smirked into the kiss, a wave of accomplishment overcoming her. The kiss became urgent again in a matter of moments, but Cara was still enjoying the feel of the smooth thigh beneath her hand when Kahlan shifted her hips and pushed off the ground, rolling them over.

Cara went with it solely because she so enjoyed the feel of those thighs straddling her own. Having such a force to be reckoned with on top of her wasn't entirely unappealing either. Though the fact that the woman on top of her couldn't kill her with just one touch thrilled her more than it should. What was usually considered forbidden fruit was now ripe for the plucking and the thought that she could make the Confessor gasp out her name in unrestrained bliss sent another wave of anticipation through her.

Kahlan's arched into the woman beneath her once Cara's hand found sensitive flesh. The kiss slowed down considerably as hips started moving along with the slow movement of Cara's fingers. Cara would've felt smug about distracting her to the point of needing to slow down, but was sidetracked by the moan that reverberated into her mouth. She would blame the hallucinogen for distracting her later, for suddenly her naked hand was pressed into the ground next to her. Kahlan held her hand there by the wrist.

"Not yet," Kahlan whispered, lips brushing against Cara's as she spoke, eyes hooded and dark as sapphire. Cara bared her teeth in a silent, frustrated groan before roughly reinitiating the kiss. She allowed her displeasure to show by taking the brunette's lower lip between her teeth and biting down hard enough to hurt, but not to draw blood. Kahlan didn't respond immediately, but eventually rolled her hips into Cara's in an aggravatingly _pleasing_ motion.

Cara threw her head back, lips parting to take in air she didn't know she needed. Free to let go in this world of make pretend, she allowed Kahlan to get away with the action. A battle for dominance was not necessary if there was no opposing party. Besides, it wasn't exactly excruciating how the woman continued to kiss and stroke her pride better, laying gentle kisses along her jaw as her hands wandered down the front of her leathers. The tender touches both quelled and instigated a restlessness she could only compare to a few select experiences she had lived before. None of them compared to the reassurance that Kahlan was radiating, however, and soon she found herself hating and loving the Confessor for being able to monopolize her emotions like that.

Cara let out a hiss of frustration once the front of her leathers came undone, glaring at the stars as tender touches were in all the wrong, yet deliciously right places. Hands glided down her chest unsurely, lips sucking on her pulse point steadily. Deciding that Kahlan was moving at a ridiculously slow and inexperienced pace, Cara tangled a hand in long, dark hair and pulled her up for another needy kiss, her other hand reaching down to unbuckle her belt.

Kahlan seemed properly distracted with the kiss, her hand stilling below the blonde's breast. The action only infuriated Cara to the point of action. She quickly found the hand on her chest and guided it down her stomach, dimly realizing that the brunette's other hand had to be keeping her up.

Cara almost didn't notice Kahlan's amused smile against her lips, her mouth having gone slack and unresponsive once fingers were where she wanted them most. Her hips rocked along with Kahlan's movements when they started to shift, creating wondrous friction. For a few long, delightful moments Cara was lost to the feeling of the Confessor's warmth all around her, but then she opened her eyes to that loving smile and she realized in what kind of shamefully submissive position she was in.

This was also the moment that she realized she couldn't care less, because then Kahlan repositioned her hand and her body had overridden any rational protests. It was that touch, the look that spoke volumes of unbiased attention, the gentle nature of the woman's soul that was such a contrast to her own, that set her skin on fire and liquefied her insides. She gasped, taking her turn to claw at the cloth that protected Kahlan's shoulder.

"Let go," Kahlan whispered, having found the opportunity to whisper encouragement in Cara's ear.

"What does it look like _I'm doing_?" Cara ground out, her back arched almost painfully as she tried to follow the set rhythm, her neck fully exposed with her head tilted back.

Kahlan chuckled softly, opting not to answer. Instead she continued to lay those agonizingly light kisses across her jaw, scraping her teeth against heated skin in a desperate plea for more.

Cara lost all track of time from there on, the caresses loaded with such intensity blending together until there was only the searing heat coursing through her veins. It might have been hours or scant minutes in which they were lost to an imaginary rhythm, tempo steadily increasing until one of them couldn't take the delicious strain any more.

Cara's mouth fell open in a silent scream, managing to swallow the need to call out Kahlan's name. Even the tidal wave of pleasure couldn't dissuade her from disallowing the other the woman the pleasure of hearing her name spilling from her lips. She flinched as Kahlan took back her hand, her body still on edge and highly sensitive.

After a few moments of regaining her breath, eyes closed, arms having fallen limply to the floor, a voice broke through her haze. "Are you okay?" Cara didn't need to open her eyes to know that Kahlan was looking down at her in a mix of admiration and slight worry.

Cara was alerted to the presence of the kitten with the returning of familiar purring besides her ear. For a moment, she could ignore the sound, catching her breath as she opened her eyes to look into familiar, gentle eyes. But the sound persisted, the spot of white in the corner of her eyes grating her nerves. Apparently, her mind deemed it necessary to ruin such a pleasant moment.

"Pesky cat," Cara muttered, glaring at the kitten and shoving it away for the second time that day. It had the worst timing in human history. This time it stayed right where it was, crouching as if it was about to pounce her. She looked back up again, meeting with Kahlan's panicked gaze. For a moment she didn't understand what was going through the Confessor's head, until she noted how she hadn't even spared a glance at the kitten.

Did she imagine Kahlan to pick up the kitten?

"You're hallucinating too," Kahlan concluded quietly. "You're real."

Cara opened her mouth, but no sounds came out. What was she supposed to say, really? The Confessor had spared her even though she thought she wasn't real, blatantly refusing her to have her own fun instead. The sudden knowledge left her somewhat dumbfounded.

Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, Kahlan made it easy for the both of them by getting up first. She scrambled briefly on wobbly legs, but managed to get away without tripping. Shooting Cara one last horrified look, she rushed back to camp, long cloth fluttering behind her.

The blonde watched as the embarrassed woman disappeared, leaning her head back in the grass once she was finally out of sight. However complicated it was going to make the future, she was unable to help the satisfied smile that tugged at her lips as she lay there. The quiet purring in the background was especially mocking that time, but for some reason, she couldn't care less.

* * *

"What did you hallucinate about?" Richard asked, pulling Cara back to the present. Thankfully, he had asked Kahlan the question.

"A mountain lion," Kahlan answered, visibly resisting the urge to look back at Cara. The blonde raised an eyebrow at the answer.

"Really? Are you hurt?" Richard looked her over in concern, relieved to discover nothing was mauled. His concern then turned in to curiosity. "How did you know it wasn't real?"

"I didn't." Kahlan looked ahead, no doubt hiding any possible embarrassing reactions from Cara. "It seemed aggressive at first, but eventually became very sweet, so I just assumed."

Cara frowned slightly, her amusement disappearing. What was that supposed to mean?

"Sounds like quite an adventure." Richard seemed satisfied with the answer, nodding in understanding. He glanced over his shoulder at Cara, slowing his pace somewhat to match the blonde's. "What about you?"

"Kahlan," she answered curtly, earning herself a wide-eyed, reprieving look from the mentioned woman. Cara ignored the look and shot Richard the Pleasant Smile™. "Couldn't keep her hands out of my leathers," she elaborated, walking ahead merrily as the man froze in the spot.

Richard stared at Cara and Kahlan's retreating backs some more before Zedd urged him on from behind.

All he got was dancing chipmunks.

* * *

"**(…) the front of her leathers came undone." Zippers are not medieval, but do you have any idea what a turnoff it would be if Kahlan struggled with 239 laces first to get to the hot shrubbery sex? "Omgbaby, I want you so much… -15 minutes later- … I still want nnnnghaj;sldkfa." By that time, Cara would've had her way 6 times over!**

…

**What was ****I complaining about? LOL.**

**Also, don't bother googling those St. Whatshisface roots. I was eating choco-elade, if you know what I mean.**

**Ps. This fic is unbetaed, but that's got nothing to do with me not wanting my beta to read it LOL.  
****Pps. This fic is betaed on a OOC-level by Sixphanel.  
****Ppps. I have ****watched maybe an hour of select fragments from the entire show.**


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